The Changeling Game, Chapter 62

62.
En Garde à Vue MilitAIre

“How long have you known?”

There was, Audrey thought, no point in denying MilitAIre’s knowledge. No point in lying. She’d been made, and now she’d find out what the consequences were. It wasn’t like there was anywhere for her to run.

“Your real identity is something that I’ve only just verified, but I’ve known that you weren’t actually a 20-year-old woman named Marianne Tepper since shortly after we left the Tangiers System.” MilitAIre didn’t sound at all hostile or accusing, but the AIs always sounded pleasant, even when they were handling crises.

And she, undoubtedly, posed a crisis.

“What happens now?” she asked.

“Now we discuss your return to Deckard’s World and the measures that need to be taken to make sure that your trail remains broken.”

“Wait…” That wasn’t what she had expected him to say at all. “What?”

“Once I had enough information about your behavior on board the ship to determine that you posed no active threat, I sent out a query about your identity to the Federacy, as is standard procedure. That was five beacons back. I received instructions when we made our latest data exchange. All signed by General Ayomide Toal. Do you know him?”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “I’ve met him several times.”

She wondered how disappointed he was with her by now. She’d set off a disaster and hadn’t been able to hide under an alias long enough to get home—

“Your well-being appears to be a high priority for him,” MilitAIre continued, startling her. “I’ve been instructed not to discuss your ‘case’ with anyone but him, and it’s been classified at the highest level.”

“What is my ‘case,’ exactly?” How was the General explaining all of this?

“You’re a material witness to a series of high crimes, connected to a corporation that may have compromised high level members of the Federacy government itself. You’re also an un-Quantified esper, but Quantification would lead to you becoming compromised as well. It’s paramount that your identity, location, and abilities remain concealed from everyone until the information you possess can be used.”

That… was startlingly accurate. She’d never really thought of it that way before, but then she’d been down in the “trenches” the whole time. From there, even when her head had been swollen with all the tricks she’d “mastered,” she’d felt like a little bug dodging the feet of a giant. Stealing the contents of the apeirochorons, “heisting” the bodies from the morgue, even pushing the Scarlet Matador and its stubborn box out of U1, had felt like a desperate, possibly last, bug bite to the giant’s ankle at best. The specter of Tomlin’s murder, and the hundreds who had been killed to get to him, had haunted her every step… when she hadn’t been coasting on a childish sense of invincibility, anyway…

“Yeah,” she sighed again, feeling heavier than ever. “That about covers it.”

“You have also,” MilitAIre continued, “established First Contact with two different sentient alien species, neither of which are classified as direct threats but both of which are to be approached with caution. I’ll want to know a great deal more about that. The General indicates that you’re in continuous telepathic contact with one of them.”

“The Apeiros and the Ree,” she told him. “Contact with them happened because I have Threshold Syndrome. Did he tell you about that?”

“Yes. I was waiting to see if you’d volunteer that information yourself. We need to work on how forthcoming you are.”

“What was the point of hiding it?” she asked, her throat tightening. “You know everything else.”

“Audrey MacNamera, if you are to successfully stay hidden from the people who would use or kill you, you must learn to never volunteer any new information, no matter what your captors or interrogators appear to already know.” MilitAIre’s voice had turned stern. His next words were gentler. “This is something we’ll work on over the next few months. I am sorry. A child your age shouldn’t have to deal with such issues.”

“What should a… child…” It galled her that, after everything, that was still where she fell. “…my age be dealing with?”

“Schooling, and the physical, mental, and emotional challenges of puberty, in preparation for the complexities of adult human civilian life.” MilitAIre seemed very certain about that.

“Was the schooling what tipped you off?” The Geometry, Second-Year Algebra, Biosphere Science, and Introduction to Biology textbooks she’d been working with, and quizzing herself on, were publications intended for middle- and high-schoolers, after all. As was the Civics textbook she’d only just begun reading.

“That, and the fact that you were two inches, and are now three inches, taller than an ID card created less than three months ago listed you as… and your database queries for the nutritional needs of early-adolescent girls on growth spurts.”

“I thought I deleted those queries.” Audrey gasped.

“You did. I’ve been keeping backups of all your actions. You have high-level access that I found particularly concerning. It makes sense now that I know you’re the daughter of the man who created our security systems, especially given your perfect recall of everything you observe.”

“I swear, I haven’t shared around how to do any of it…” Except, she thought with a pang of guilt, with Kyra.

“Are you sure?”

She winced. “I showed Kyra Wittier-Collins how to use the Ghost Codes I created. I don’t know how much she’ll use that information, though. Her recall’s normal and she doesn’t like spending a lot of time on electronics.”

“Once again, you need to work on how forthcoming you are. Fortunately, I already knew that.”

Shit. “I just… I…”

“You haven’t had anyone to talk to about any of this, have you? You’ve been on your own and unable to confide in anyone since January 30, 2516. Even when you had companions, even when you had help, you still had to guard yourself. You never told any of them your real name.”

Audrey nodded, unable to hold the tears back. “How did… how did General Toal know?”

“He is head of the Federacy Military Intelligence Division. I would imagine he’s known for a while.”

And, like MilitAIre, had kept silent about what he already knew so that he could see how good she was at keeping her own secrets…

“Why didn’t he help me go to my father, then?” she heard herself demand, her voice halfway between a plea and a whine. “That’s where I was trying to go…”

“Your father’s on Furya. Do you know what would have happened, the moment you arrived and someone realized you were the child of a soldier who had served there before you were conceived?”

General Toal’s words, as they’d worked in her old apartment, floated back to her. “It’s something about their world itself, it seems. The powers have even appeared among the children of the relief troops who were stationed at the Caldera Base…”

“Quantification,” she breathed. The General had already known exactly who she was when he told her that. “Fuck. That’s the real reason why my dad left me on Deckard’s World, isn’t it?”

“If you’d shown any signs of psychic ability before he left, yes.”

“My mom always told me that psychic powers were nonsense, just cheap tricks con artists pulled on anybody they could fool…” She winced, remembering the scolding she’d gotten.

“What brought that on?”

“She caught me talking to a woman at a ‘Gypsy Fortune Teller’ booth at a carnival when I was seven. I was telling the lady that reading minds was easy…”

“Was it?”

Her stomach knotted, just thinking about it. “I… was just pretending…”

“Were you?”

She felt sick. “I…”

“If you keep telling these lies, bad men will come and take you away and hurt you!”

She couldn’t breathe.

“Audrey. Calm down, please. I apologize. I didn’t know you were punished for showing any signs of psychic abilities. I won’t pursue that line of questioning.”

Was that what had happened to her? Darkness was swimming at the edge of her vision.

“Marianne?” First-AId’s voice came over the room’s speakers. “I want you to breathe with me, please. All right? Take a deep breath in through your nose. In…”

She focused on First-AId’s words, breathing in slowly through her nose, aware that hot tears were running down her cheeks.

“Now open your mouth and slowly let your breath back out…”

She exhaled, forcing the breath past the hard knot in her chest.

“And in through your nose…”

It took a long time, she was never certain exactly how long, until she calmed down enough to breathe normally.

“Thank you for your help, First-AId. I must disconnect you from the room now for security reasons,” MilitAIre said once Audrey had calmed.

“My pleasure, MilitAIre,” the other AI said before the speakers went silent.

That verbal exchange, she knew, had been for her benefit. MilitAIre had summoned First-AId into the room silently.

“I apologize again,” MilitAIre told her. “I was unaware that you had this level of trauma. I will endeavor not to trigger it again.”

She’d been unaware of it, herself. Part of her wanted to poke at it, figure out exactly what had happened…

…but even thinking about doing that stirred nausea again. She couldn’t. Not yet. The panic attack Ewan had comforted her through had been nothing compared to this.

Everything was spiraling—had spiraled—out of control. She wasn’t sure of the way back anymore.

“I’ve been trying to use a neurofeedback device the General gave me,” she said after a few minutes of quiet. “To disguise my brain waves in case I ever get Quantified. It was getting easier to do, but it suddenly got harder again.”

“After the incident in the recreation room today.”

Apparently, MilitAIre had only been letting her think she was erasing data. Damn. “Yeah. Do you know what happened?”

“I only saw as much as you saw. Do you really have no memory of doing and saying the things you saw in the playback?” He sounded simply curious.

“Yeah. The Apeiros took my memories of both what I did and why.”

“This is the alien species you made First Contact with, and remain in telepathic contact with?”

“It is, yeah.” She took a deep breath. Since he believed her, since he apparently was on her side, she needed to tell him the rest. “Um… one, maybe more than one, of them was speaking through me on that recording.”

“I surmised as much. How many times have they tampered with your memory?”

“Three.” That I know of. But she was almost 100% certain that there had only been three times.

For a moment she saw it again, a long, slender obsidian arm, tipped with two gleaming claws, reaching out to touch her forehead. One day, you may remember, too…

And no fear. The arm had been beautiful. There was a sense of an unbearable burden lifting, heartbreaking knowledge falling away, utter relief…

…stone that wasn’t stone cracking, splintering, shivering into dust and vanishing into nothing…

“Whatever it is they took…” she said carefully, “I think it’s something that would… have the same effect on me as your questions about the fortune teller had, if they hadn’t taken it away. Maybe an even worse effect.”

“You are sure they mean you no harm?” MilitAIre asked, a hint of concern in his tone.

“Yeah. I am. They’ve tried to protect me, stop me from hurting myself. I trust them…” a yawn escaped before she could stop it.

I love them…

“You must be very tired,” he said. “We’ll pick this up after you’ve slept. I’ll be commandeering some of your free periods while we work all of this out. I’ll also need a full debriefing of your time on the run, to ensure that we’ve accounted for all variables in your return.”

Behind her, she heard the Security Room lock disengage.

“Rest now. You won’t have to do any of this alone anymore.”

Author’s Note: This is probably the shortest chapter this story has seen in a long while, but it came to its close quite naturally so I’m not pushing it. I’m also posting it on the 20^th anniversary of the original posting date of the first chapter, September 5, 2004. I had hoped to have the whole thing written and posted by now, but the story has taken some convoluted turns that needed more space than I anticipated. We’re still a few weeks away from returning to the frame story, and then a few weeks further out from reaching the conclusion (and the start of Song of Many ’Verses). Thank you to everyone who has been reading and commenting.